When Did Your Dreams Die?

The Forgotten Dreamland

When did your dreams die? Did they die when you were forced to “grow up?” Or maybe they died when you were chewed up and spit out into the “real world?”

Money, politics, and the 9-5 may have begun to catch up with you. You may have found yourself even craving these at one point in your life, as you waited until the day you could finally be independent and build the life you always wanted. But I have to ask, are you truly living that life? Is it everything you’ve ever wanted and more?

I bet your imagination ran wild when you were younger, and you were always coming up with creative ways to entertain yourself in elementary school. Maybe you were the class clown and always had everyone laughing in the lunchroom. Or maybe you were like me, writing quietly in a journal, lost in your thoughts of what the future could look like.

Whether you were traveling the world, making a scientific discovery, or performing in front of millions of fans, the possibilities of what your future could be were endless. The world was yours. All you had to do was just wait to grow up, get some money, and it would all work out…

As you started to get older and go into middle school, you began to think more about things like your appearance and how you ranked on the popularity scale. In high school, you probably questioned whether you should join a sports team or extracurricular club to make yourself appear “unique” to college recruiters. At this point, all of your friends slowly began to not have as much time to hang out, as they were getting caught up in school and working a part-time job. The exhaustion from your mind, body, and spirit began to set in, and you realized that you are stuck in an endless cycle of having to find a way to make money for the rest of your life, be there for your family, excel at work and school, and maybe somewhere along the way have fun.

Crossroads of Reality

If this sounds like how you’ve been feeling lately, believe me, I get it. As I prepare to graduate next month, I’ve gotten a lot of comments stating that “I am full of pipe dreams” and that I “need to be more realistic.” I’m used to hearing this, but recently it has been hitting harder. Does officially growing up mean letting go of your dreams? Personally, I don’t think so.

The truth is, your dreams will always be with you, no matter how old you are or what phase of life you are in. However, they may currently live in the deepest crevices of your mind. I promise you, your dreams haven’t completely gone extinct, even if you haven’t thought about them in a while, because they have shaped your personality. Think about how the dreams you used to have growing up were thoughts that your mind would frequently escape to when you needed cheering up or motivation. While you may have not escaped to these dreamlands in a while, I can assure you they are not forgotten and it’s entirely possible to bring them back to the forefront of your mind.

Before we delve into why these dreams have faded, let’s talk about how we can bring them back. It’s almost like in the movie Inside Out when the memory emotion balls turn gray as they are being pushed out of your conscious. They still exist in your head, but they can’t be accessed unless consistent effort and positive energy are put into them.

Rekindling the Spark

You’re probably wondering “how do I even find where these dreams are in the deepest parts of my mind after all these years?” It isn’t easy, but a mindset shift can be achieved by taking the time to reflect on what brought you the most joy as a child.

When you came home after school as a kid, what was the first thing you wanted to do? Was it to create a new snack in the kitchen and make your younger sibling try it? Was it to take a visit to your Barbie dreamhouse and write a script for your dolls to act out? Or maybe you wanted to run around outside and catch ladybugs in your bug catcher.

Close your eyes and transport yourself back into those memories. Were you alone? Or maybe you were with a large group of friends? What environment were you in – outside, inside? What part of the activity excited you the most? Was it the challenge of creating something new, or was it seeing how your family reacted to what you discovered?

Now that you are starting to relive these memories, it’s time to think about the transition of how they changed and eventually became dormant over time. Maybe you started to get caught up in schoolwork and didn’t have time anymore for these hobbies, or maybe someone in your life told you that your ideas were stupid and you needed to spend your time doing more meaningful things.

The truth is, there are many factors that can contribute to the death of a dream. It can be a specific person, a personal event in your life, the environment you were in, or financial reasons. The reality is, it’s probably a little bit of each of these factors. Take some time to think about this and dig deep into the root cause of what made you feel like your dreams were impossible to achieve.

Thirty Minutes to Rediscovery

So, what now? We’ve thought about some of your dreams, but how can we bring back them back into our current lives and make them apart of our reality? I know it may sound impossible, but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong, it will be difficult, but it can be done, and this is how:

Allow yourself 30 minutes each day, where you are alone, to fully immerse yourself in the activity that once brought you joy as a child.

And I’m not just talking about sitting on the ground and rolling toy cars around. I mean going out to a toy store, going through the process of picking out your dream toy car that you would’ve begged your parents to buy you. I mean bringing that toy car home, playing your favorite cartoon in the background, and building a track out of supplies you can find around your house. And I mean pretending like you are hosting the Grand Prix and gathering all your stuffed animals to watch as the fans in your stadium.

30 minutes—that’s all I’m saying. Give it a try. It will be silly and maybe awkward at first, but lean into it. Afterwards, sit down for 10 minutes and write about the experience. What specific aspect of the activity brought you the most joy? Were any new memories rekindled because of this experience? Is there any component of this activity that you enjoyed that you could incorporate into your current work or schooling?

Lifelong Dreamer 

I know it’s hard, but I promise you, your dreams are valid. Your emotions are valid. Your ideas are valid. The human mind and imagination are incredible if you truly think about all that they’re capable of. If we weren’t meant to think this way, we wouldn’t be designed to, so use it! Embrace this side of yourself. The money and all the other “adult” components of life will work themselves out the way they are meant to. But at the end of the day, and at the end of your life, you are still you. Dreams and all. And that’s truly what makes you unique and perfect.

Until next time,
Cassie 🙂